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Old November 7th, 2018, 01:16 PM   #1
ursle
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Default Ron Jeremy

Meet the Republican Party’s Newest Rising Star: A Nevada Brothel Owner Who’s Been Dead for Three Weeks

In Carson City, Nevada, residents heard the news from the Nevada Appeal: the “Trump of Pahrump” was headed to the State Assembly. In Las Vegas, casino workers struggled to comprehend that the rising politician whose face was all over the TV really was the same man who had been found dead in a brothel more than three weeks ago.
And at the Happy Homestead Cemetery in South Lake Tahoe, Nevada, the Republican Party’s newest rising star was trying to make sense of it all.

On Tuesday, Dennis Hof, whose résumé up to now included “brothel owner,” “star of an HBO series about brothels,” “author of an autobiography about brothels,” and “America’s Pimpmaster General,” stunned the political establishment by defeating Lesia Romanov for a seat in the Nevada State Assembly. It’s the latest shock in an electrifying year for the entrepreneur-turned-politician: Five months ago he astounded Nevada’s Republican party by defeating three-term incumbent James Oscarson in the primary. Then, on Oct. 16, he shocked the world again, throwing a birthday party attended by political heavyweights like Joe Arpaio, Grover Norquist, and Ron Jeremy, and then dying. It was the kind of pivot hardly anyone has attempted since Mel Carnahan’s hard-fought 2000 senatorial campaign—the consultant class has long argued that the living make better candidates—but it paid off. Now Nevada Republicans are scrambling to adjust to the new reality.


Mr. Hof appeared to be handling his rise to the national political stage with aplomb, riding out the attention in a closed-to-the-press candy apple red coffin six feet underground. There, forensic political analysts say, he is celebrating his victory by allowing the forces of gravity to slowly pool embalming fluid in the lower parts of his body. Hof had no comment on the election results, his plans for the future, or anything at all, but in a summer interview with the Las Vegas Sun, he explained that Donald Trump was the inspiration for his decidedly unconventional approach to politics:

Am I riding the Trump train? Hell yes I am. He blazed the trail for me. I would have never won the primary without what Donald Trump did. He carved a new dimension into the political realm, and I’m one of the beneficiaries of it.

But despite the straight line between Trump’s 2016 campaign and Hof’s visionary strategy of convincing elderly Republicans to vote for actual corpses, the party’s political establishment seems to be attempting to keep their newest star under wraps. The Nye County Commission is reportedly planning to appoint another, living Republican to take Hof’s seat, shamefully ignoring the clearly-expressed wishes of their constituents to be represented in the State Assembly by a dead brothel owner. There’s no reason for Republicans to be embarrassed that the new face of their party looks like Jeremy Bentham: (Jeremy Bentham was an English philosopher and political radical. He is primarily known today for his moral philosophy, especially his principle of utilitarianism, which evaluates actions based upon their consequences.) While it’s true that utilitarianism is not really in line with Republican philosophy—imagine their candidates trying to pretend they cared about making people happy!—the Panopticon is perfectly on-brand. And so it is time for Americans of all parties to demand that Mr. Hof be seated in the Nevada State Assembly. Otherwise, this will be how democracy dies: at a brothel, after a birthday party, with Ron Jeremy.


What happens in Las Vegas, should stay in Las Vegas.
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Old November 7th, 2018, 01:37 PM   #2
rufusprime99
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Well hot damn. useless started an interesting thread. Of course, he did so in his typical *sshole fashion.

Of Interest:
1. Does his election stand? Unless particular rules regarding this exist, he is elected.
2. If he is elected, was he married. The wife then takes office.
3. If elected and no wife, it will fall to the Governor to appoint a replacement.

Just goes to show, even DEATH can't keep a good Republican down.

That or, the Dem running against him was really bad. Aren't they all though.
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Old November 7th, 2018, 03:17 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by rufusprime99 View Post
Well hot damn. useless started an interesting thread. Of course, he did so in his typical *sshole fashion.

Of Interest:
1. Does his election stand? Unless particular rules regarding this exist, he is elected.
2. If he is elected, was he married. The wife then takes office.
3. If elected and no wife, it will fall to the Governor to appoint a replacement.

Just goes to show, even DEATH can't keep a good Republican down.

That or, the Dem running against him was really bad. Aren't they all though.
Here's a exemplary example of why one never argues with an idiot:
They will always drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Old November 7th, 2018, 06:51 PM   #4
rufusprime99
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Originally Posted by ursle View Post
Here's a exemplary example of why one never argues with an idiot:
They will always drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
This is a great thread. It will be fascinating to see what provisions of election law are or are not in place to handle this. (too bad you lack the intelligence or curiosity to engage well in your own thread) I do believe his election must stand, as it is not so much a vote FOR a dead man, but also a vote AGAINST the opponent.
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Old November 7th, 2018, 07:43 PM   #5
ursle
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Originally Posted by rufusprime99 View Post
This is a great thread. It will be fascinating to see what provisions of election law are or are not in place to handle this. (too bad you lack the intelligence or curiosity to engage well in your own thread) I do believe his election must stand, as it is not so much a vote FOR a dead man, but also a vote AGAINST the opponent.
Anyone with comprehension skills above a fifth grade level that read the article will have read this:

The Nye County Commission is reportedly planning to appoint another, living Republican to take Hof’s seat,shamefully ignoring the clearly-expressed wishes of their constituents to be represented in the State Assembly by a dead brothel owner. There’s no reason for Republicans to be embarrassed that the new face of their party looks like Jeremy Bentham: (Jeremy Bentham was an English philosopher and political radical. He is primarily known today for his moral philosophy, especially his principle of utilitarianism, which evaluates actions based upon their consequences.) While it’s true that utilitarianism is not really in line with Republican philosophy—imagine their candidates trying to pretend they cared about making people happy!—the Panopticon is perfectly on-brand. And so it is time for Americans of all parties to demand that Mr. Hof be seated in the Nevada State Assembly.

Easy to understand and self explanatory, obviously that leaves out anyone with below fifth grade comprehension skills.
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Old November 7th, 2018, 08:43 PM   #6
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Didn't read the article. It came from you after all.
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