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Fitness Skating and Training Forum Discussions about on-skate and off-skate training, hydration, sports nutrition, weight loss, injuries, sports medicine, and other topics related to training and physical fitness for skaters.

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Old November 9th, 2007, 01:23 PM   #1
Dev Gnoll
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Default Dealing with Skating Obsession.

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...

Glad to see you're out of the Doghouse.
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Originally Posted by BWI-Sheldon View Post
Thanks. It's a little bit more complicated than just that. You see I became too addicted to skating and it started to get in the way of life, as everyone around me was sick of me, skate this skate that. So I had to put myself in the doghouse and stop skating.
One day last week I had a revelation. I don't have a problem, it's just my alter ego that is a Skataholic. So I sent him to the doghouse, and told him to stop talking about skating to anyone around me, and even in the forum he is banned from talking.
Now I just skate a little bit here or there just to retain what I built up, and to get the heart pumping once or twice a week.

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Welcome back, and i could tell something was up (Am-Wings, no marathon, no responses to queries by others)
This is a fascinating subject and i think it deserves a thread of its own. How to cope with the obsession. Got to go right now to keep myself out of the doghouse, but i just got ordered off the computer, no kidding...

I certainly think this is worthy of it's own thread.
We certainly have the whole spectrum here, from the middle-aged family guys who have more enthusiam and disposable income than speed, to the speedskaters who are forced to work at real jobs occaisionally.

So, how do you deal with the obsession?

Me, I just go with it. If my wife complains about me being too obsessed about anything, I just switch obsessions for a while. It's kinda like cross training.

I'll be the first to admit that this coping strategy does not lead to constant improvement as a skater. But then again, I am not just a skater, and the other stuff is important occaisionally.
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Old November 9th, 2007, 01:37 PM   #2
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Good topic.. I get chastised myself on occasion. I wonder how much of this is a guy thing - I tend to get obsessed with my interests often, and it has caused a few problems. Let's just say I don't play online games anymore.

My wife has accused me of going from one obsession to the next. She's wondering if this is the next and when I will drop it, but I explained to her how this one is different - it's about my health first and foremost. Because it has helped make a drastic change in my life - for the good for once - she's pretty tolerant. She can not only see how happy it makes me, she can see the results on me (which is good for her too of course).

Now I have tons more energy and drive than I used to. So maybe I'm out at practice a lot sometimes, and wanting to hit all these races, but it's not like some of the other junk I've been into.

The real test will be next year. I absolutely love going to the marathon outdoor races. I only got into this thing this year after half the season had passed, and only made 3 races. Next season, I'm going to want to do a lot more. It's going to be interesting, I'm going to have to find some kind of compromise. In the middle of the summer there are months where there are races every single weekend. Not only can that get in the way of life a bit, it can get expensive.

But I'm planning on being in this sport for the long haul. I've missed being part of a team for years, since I stopped playing 12-inch softball and ball hockey. It's a part of me that has been missing.

She sees how it makes me happy and a better man, as I said, so it's been good so far. Also - I'm getting her and the kids skates for Christmas So we can do some things together.
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Old November 9th, 2007, 02:02 PM   #3
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I tend to go from one obsession to the next as well. One thing I do to try to make it more palatable is that I make sure to give 100% to the family when I am with them. So, when I get home from skating, instead of getting on the computer or lying around, I go hang out outside with the kids or make dinner or help clean up the house. Skating has been a better obsession than some in the past, because I'm getting exercise, which tends to make me an overall happier and steadier guy.
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Old November 9th, 2007, 02:10 PM   #4
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My wife thought that this would last 6 months tops. Well 2.5 years later I'm still skating.

Let's see...I'm mostly relegated to posting while at work. If I spend time reading posts at home I get the hairy eyeball.

If I skate outdoors I need to be done before she wakes up. I can't stand around and chit-chat after practice, need to get home to dinner. Skating supplies need to come out of my own fun money and not the household account. I'm allowed one away marathon (Spokane), Nationals and the occasional away meet.

Oh and I have to get through the "honey do" list...
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Old November 9th, 2007, 02:14 PM   #5
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Let's see...I'm mostly relegated to posting while at work. If I spend time reading posts at home I get the hairy eyeball.
LOL - I get that too - "there he goes again, even when he's not skating it's all about skating..."
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Old November 9th, 2007, 02:24 PM   #6
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LOL - I get that too - "there he goes again, even when he's not skating it's all about skating..."
Wow...I've even heard those same words!
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Old November 9th, 2007, 02:25 PM   #7
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at home I get the hairy eyeball
LOL, in Hawaii we call it "Stink Eye". And by the way, this problem is not just a guy thing. New boyfriends are always so sweet about my skating and Web site hobbies/obsessions at first but it typically gets old for them rather quickly. Which I totally understand by the way. Living alone makes it all so much easier. I suppose one of these days I will go to the dark side and have to deal with all of that. Not ready for it yet though...

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Old November 9th, 2007, 04:10 PM   #8
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Absolutely a great Thread.

I thought mvirtue was talking about me. I had to skate on work time only, or real early on Sunday before the family got in gear. The constant skating talk was boring everyone to the point of resentment. No, she didn't want to leave the kids for a weekend, to go with me to a marathon.


Like most others here, I also came to a fork in the road, and grabbed a second chance at life. I got off the couch and went from an insurance statistic to a proficient athlete in the course of a year, while dropping 50 pounds in the process. Even though I have found a new joy in life, it is the competitive drive in me, which has kept me motivated to keep on skating. Looking forward to a marathon is what makes me go out in the cold, battle the wind, sweat the heat, on those days when I'm tired and looking for excuses to be lazy.



But alas I got too obsessed with it, and it started to cause resentment in the family. Being so difficult in a family of six, to go to any skating events away from home, I was disappointed when Disney got cancelled, as this was the only hope of skating marathons. Naturally when the Houston Marathon was formed I jumped at the chance of skating it. (I also thought that I would have a chance at the podium, which I may never get again) Things didn’t go as planned. While for me it was a great opportunity to go on a weekend getaway, with the wife, and patch things up that has been faltering the past few month. To her it was more like “he wouldn’t go anywhere with me alone, but he just would want me to tag along so he can skate. You can’t expect me to leave the kids because of your selfish desires.”



Hence no competition, no reason to train. No training, no skating. It’s got to painful to skate for just the enjoyment of skating alone. I was really down. Work is a joke, I have no challenge. A community building project that I am involved in has hit a bureaucratic wall of red tape. Family life and relationships have been going down the tube. I was a mess.



So I did some soul searching. The really deep kind of soul searching. Truth be told, I was obsessed with skating as an escape from life’s problems just like any other addiction people have. Too much of a good thing is detrimental to personal growth. Remember “…a time for love, a time for hate, a time for war a time for peace,…”, so I was thinking, a time to skate, and a time to rest.




Consequently I had to hang up the skates, until I got myself back into a healthy state of mind. I threw the skate monkey off my back along with the several other of that monkey’s family relatives. I did the “I so sorry honey that I allowed skating to get in the way of the most important thing I have, blah, blah blah,”. I also made many other changes in my life that should have been done years ago. I think I am back on track with life in general.


So a few weeks later, (and around 10 more pounds) I think that I am ready to skate just a little. It will have to be limited to 45 minutes, twice a week, for the purpose of maintaining physical health only. I will not need to talk to others about skating, and it can’t interfere with other activities. Whether I ever get to compete or not, only time will tell. For now, I will make every mile count.
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Old November 9th, 2007, 06:25 PM   #9
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I wonder how much of this is a guy thing

HELL NO!! Being obsessive is not (just) a guy thing. But I'm thinking being a fitness- or speed-skater goes hand in hand with an obsessive personality.

S'better than drinking or shooting up obsessively.

When I was married...to a non-skater...I even took up golf to try to understand his obsession (I actually enjoyed it once I could finally make contact with the ball after about 4 years). Unfortunately he did not understand the big deal about skating. Oh well vive la difference and all that.

Now my significant other is a skater, so it's a whole 'nother issue. We tend to compete with each other and worry about who is in better shape than the other one. But it is so nice to share skating with that special person you want to argue with most in the world

Regarding skating vs. 'family time'. Well if 'family' time means schlepping your kids around to all THEIR sports while your butt gets flabby, that isn't going to balance out very well. Happy, sane Dad/Mom = happy, sane kids. Most of us are probably skating with a goal to take part in some event, even if it is only the Great Esskate (gotta look good in skimpy clothes in February ya know!), so Mom or Dad needs to train for their event too, just as kid 1 and kid 2 need to train for their soccer/baseball games.

I can rationalize my obsessions.

BTW Great idea whoever said they switch their obsessions for a while to throw the spouse off the trail. Very funny! It probably DOES help your skating somehow (as long as it's not playing competitive darts or something - not that there's anything wrong with that...).
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Old November 9th, 2007, 06:40 PM   #10
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Happy, sane Dad+Mom = happy, sane kids.
Fixed that for you.
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Old November 9th, 2007, 06:44 PM   #11
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Fixed that for you.
Well I hadn't made up my mind...(jk
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Old November 9th, 2007, 07:14 PM   #12
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Well being obsessed about skating is NOT just for certain disciplines or men, I'm a woman and aggressive skater and by all means, I'm totally obsessed! Of course I have an obsessive personality also. I dive into things with both feet! Its good I'm single. I would drive my husband nuts if they were expecting dinner on the table and I'm out at the skatepark lol. Least my boyfriend now knows that skating first, hes second lol. But I dont think this will work long term cause he would have to be a skater too, theres just no way. I love it too much to not have my partner be involved.
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Old November 9th, 2007, 03:42 PM   #13
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Any objections if I move this discussion to the main forum? Seems like a general-interest skating issue. Skaters in every discipline have to deal with it.

- K

There's two aspects that flow through here:
First, there is the pure obssession, then there is the degree to which following the obsession isolates you from the non-obsessed.

Skaters of every discipline can get obssessed.

Only fitness and outdoor speed forcably isolate you from the non-obsessed.
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Old November 9th, 2007, 03:47 PM   #14
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Only fitness and outdoor speed forcably isolate you from the non-obsessed.
Yes, except that assumes your significant other is quite happy to tag along to the roller rink or skatepark several times a week to watch you train, rock with your friends, scrimmage, shoot pucks, jump, spin or whatever.

- K
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Old November 9th, 2007, 04:02 PM   #15
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Yes, except that assumes your significant other is quite happy to tag along to the roller rink or skatepark several times a week to watch you train, rock with your friends, scrimmage, shoot pucks, jump, spin or whatever.

- K
My wife would be happy to go to session, as long as I did not force her to wear inlines. But that is only 2 hours a week.

I forgot to add travel time to the rink -- 1/2 hour each way.
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Old November 27th, 2007, 03:03 AM   #16
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Default Problem solved

I solved this problem. Got all the girlfriends from the gym to start skating too. So, now there are seven of us..Everyone talks and skates three times a week, sometimes four. Great problem solved. We also solve the world's problems during our skates...
Have a good one!
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Old December 1st, 2007, 09:01 AM   #17
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I solved this problem. Got all the girlfriends from the gym to start skating too. So, now there are seven of us...
How'd you do that?
If i could do it, and get even seven converts, i'd double our outdoor speed skating community single handedly. What;'s the trick?
Good for you! And good for them, too, i suppose.
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Old January 10th, 2008, 10:41 PM   #18
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Hi, I'm Dave and I'm a skateaholic.

It really is an addiction. I started the sport, saying it was all about the health. Granted, I'm in better shape than ever, but it's not about the health anymore.

It's about the adrenaline, the vert, the jumps, the gaps, the tricks, the grinds, the stalls. Etc...

I cross train to get the most outta my jumps, and to get better endurance, so I can stay and play at the skatepark a little longer.

I'm not married, nor do I have any serious girlfriend. My two kids live with me, and they love to go skate.

It cuts into work, and into laundry and dishes, but not school, and not sleep. It's the drug that actually makes you healthier, even if it does interfere with "normal" societal responsibilties.

I'm going on 5 months, daily skating. I hope I'm healthy enough and don't break anything so I can make that same claim in another 5 months.

I skate. And that's how it is.
Period.

Of all the other addictions I've had and kicked during my 43 years, this is the only one that I don't plan on ever kicking. It's also one of the strongest addictions I've ever had, and that's saying a lot.

I went to a twelve step, and ended up 360'ing that damn thing.
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Old January 11th, 2008, 01:00 AM   #19
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This must be common for 41 to 44 year olds. There are a lot of us here that age.
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Old January 11th, 2008, 02:21 AM   #20
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thats a good addiction compared to most, and you get exercise to keep you healthier to boot.
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